worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Your shirt... Was in my pants
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
