why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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