nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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