what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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