We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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