I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
