Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
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