Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
