it hurts more in the daytime
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize
