I bet he comes in French.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Randomize
