Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Randomize
