Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
