hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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