The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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