dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
