how can u be prego again
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
