there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
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