apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
