The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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