if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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