Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
i need some magic done to my vagina
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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