I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
