I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
