we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
