"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Just invented taco cereal.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
