we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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