my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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