4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
