She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
