literally had 100 drinks last night.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
