she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
