Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Randomize
