I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
