your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Whod you bang
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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