I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Randomize
