Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Randomize
