Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
