I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
