Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
