Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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