she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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