please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
