im having a threesome with these popsicles
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
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