You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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