so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
don't judge my taste in strippers
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
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