I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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