Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
