Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
