WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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