Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
