have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Randomize
