Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
