Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
