I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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