So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
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