You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Randomize
