I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
